Values as Living Directions?
Chosen Values are chosen Life Directions; what you want to stand for; desired personal qualities. Chosen by you, as in: not dictated by others or media..
Values versus Goals?
We distinguish Values from Goals. We, here at KvLS, could help you to clarify and connect to your Values, so you can use them to inspire, motivate and guide your own ongoing behaviour.
When do we use Values?
All the time!! When looking for guidance from within, when motivation for action is lacking, as a guide for setting goals and action plans, to facilitate acceptance, to add richness, fulfilment and meaning to our own lives.
The three aspects of Values:
· Ongoing Action;
Values refer to ongoing action – how do you want to behave, overtly and covertly, on an ongoing basis? For example; how do you want to behave in your relationships with friends? We presume that you want to behave with these qualities on an ongoing basis; you wouldn’t want to suddenly stop acting this way tomorrow, next week or next month..
· Global Qualities;
Values refer to Global Qualities of ongoing action. For example; You want to play basketball. You can do this as an ongoing action, but this does not say anything about the quality of the ongoing action / the quality of how you want to play basketball. So, how do you want to play basketball? What personal strengths or qualities do you want to model or demonstrate during playing? How do you want to behave with your fellow players, both on your team and the opposing team?
You might answer; focused, competitive, respectful, cooperative and fair.
These values are available to you any time, any moment. Even if you broke your leg and had to stop playing basketball – you can still use these global qualities and give it your best in any life domain and sub-life domain you find yourself in.
· Desirable;
Values are desired! They are a statement of how you want to behave, how you aim to behave, how you desire to act. In most ACT textbooks, the word ‘desire’ is often replaced with chosen. You do not only desire these qualities in your actions, you have consciously chosen to employ them.
More about Values versus Goals:
Goals are things that you are aiming for in the future; things you want to get, have or achieve. In contrast Values are how you want to behave right now, and on an ongoing basis for the rest of your life, and how you want to behave every step of the way achieving your goals – whether you achieve them or not.
Getting Married versus Being Loving
Six Key Points About Values
1. Values are in the here-and-now (goals are in the future)
2. Values never need to be justified
3. Values often need to be prioritised
4. Values are best held lightly
5. Values are freely chosen
6. Values include self and others
1. Values are in the here-and-now (goals are in the future)
You can choose to act on your values or to neglect them – live your values in the moment (or not).
2. Values never need to be justified
Values are like ice cream.. Can you justify why you like strawberry ice cream better? You might need to justify your actions (giving everyone strawberry ice cream might not be welcomed by everyone).
3. Values often need to be prioritised
Saying that – which values are most appropriate for the situation you find yourself in? Being loving might not be a great value when you are at work (this might be misconstrued).
4. Values are best held lightly
Pursue your values vigorously and hold them lightly! Be aware of your values and use them for guidance. DO NOT FUSE with them – should, have to, must, obey, be perfect ect. It is like a compass when you are on a journey – look at it when you need to, don’t stare at it and fall over..
5. Values are freely chosen
We consciously choose to bring these desired qualities to our actions. We do not have to act in this way; we choose these because it matters to us.
6. Values include self and others
Start with self – If I choose ‘being caring’ as a value – can I be caring towards myself? I know I can be caring towards others..
Values Work Worksheet
Now you know all this, you can find the Values Work Worksheet here. With this worksheet you can find out what your values are at this moment in time in the chosen Life Domain…
And of course if you want to work on your values with us, contact us today - we are happy to help and support you with this!
