Coping with the effects of a Traumatic Experience

What is a Traumatic Experience?

Well, we all have been through it – remember the Covid Pandemic, lock down, social distancing..? A traumatic experience is a sudden, distressing, threatening or violent event, outside of your normal range of experience.

Whether you are directly involved or a witness to a traumatic event, it is very normal to experience a range of emotional responses, including fear, anger, guilt, shame, panic and sadness. These are all normal reactions to a traumatic experience.

Sometimes we are almost as distressed by our response to the incident as to the incident itself. We may feel ‘out of control’, hopeless, helpless and fear that we will never get ‘back to normal’. We may experience a sense of embarrassment or shame, judging our feelings as evidence of weakness or a failure to cope.

Understanding the range of responses to an abnormal event helps to begin the process of recovery.

The most important thing to remember, is that what we generally call a traumatic stress response, is the normal response to an abnormal experience.

Back in the day…

A long long time ago, when we were all living in caves, our main objective was ‘DO NOT DIE’; survival of ourselves, our family and the whole human species. We organised ourselves in tribes, safety in numbers, right? And everyone in our tribe was working towards the same goal of survival.

So, one day, you went out with a group of hunters and gatherers for the first time in your life. You had made it to being grown up enough to be useful and there you went. You listened carefully to the instructions of the experienced tribes people, following their lead. There were other youngsters in the group and one of them decided to be curious – those baby animals looked so cute! You were transfixed and saw them go.. For a split second the whole group stood frozen and the most quick witted shouted out to the youngster; ‘Get back! Do not approach’ while another made sure that you and the others did not move towards the youngster. But.. it was too late.. Mama bear was close by and rose to come over to her babies. The whole group started yelling, bunched together, making the whole group look like one big entity. Mama bear looked over and decided that she was not changing course. The youngster did get away, back to the group, but not before being on the receiving end of an angry mama bear. There was blood everywhere.. The youngster had passed out..

While keeping an eye on mama bear and her cubs, the group retreated, the bloody youngster between them. When the group leader decided it was time to run, run like hell, back to the caves, nobody objected. You all ran as fast as you could!

When you arrived back at the caves, others had come out, standing ready and alert to receive you. The bloody passed out youngster was quickly dispatched to the healers, while you tried to tell the others what happened. You felt out of breath and were shaking all over from the exertion of running. It took you a while to get your breath back and to stop shaking. You walked around for a bit, shaking your arms out as you went. Not long after you all gathered around the fire, having some food and the event was recalled by all who were there. You were listened to and heard, wounds were tended and the elders decided on a way forward, so that this would not happen again. Later that night, you could not sleep. You heard every sound around you and when you closed your eyes you saw that mama bear again. Your breathing went shallow, you were re-living the event. You got up and went back to the fire, where some people were still gathered. You shared your experience again and were invited to walk around the perimeter with one of the night guards. This was very helpful - you found no danger close by and by walking you regulated your breathing once again.

Now.. Back to Today.. 

There are no mama bears in close proximity (unless you work in a zoo)! But our bodies and brains still react the same to danger. Our internal caveman/woman/person brain still adheres to ‘DO NOT DIE’. It is supposed to keep us safe.. So, when you witness danger and/or are going through a traumatic experience, we feel threatened. Our bodies immediately and automatically produce a biochemical response to help us deal with the situation, adrenaline floods our system, our vision gets clearer, we are ready to run (but we usually don't). After the incident is over, it may take several hours or several days to return from this state to our ‘normal’ state.

Although it varies from person to person, it is likely that after the incident you will experience the following reactions:

In the following days and weeks, other symptoms might emerge. This may be relatively soon after the experience, or they may develop days, weeks or even months after it happened. They may be triggered by other stressful events, or may seem to appear from nowhere. These are both physical and emotional symptoms:

Remember - these are all normal responses to an abnormal experience. These are what we call traumatic stress responses.

What is happening?

A traumatic incident is frightening in itself. It also challenges our view of the immediate world we live in as an overall good and safe space. Being directly or in-directly involved in this dramatically unusual event will trigger emotional and physical responses.

After the event, we may feel that the world has become a dangerous place, and so we experience a sort of anxiety cloud around us or at least our senses experience everything around us through an anxiety-lens.

We are often shocked at the intensity of our feelings. We rationalise that the experience is over, we have survived, so we should ‘snap out of it’. (Ha - good luck!)

However, acknowledging and expressing how we feel does more good in the long term, than ignoring it (you are making it worse by ignoring it).

What can I do to help myself?

Whilst we are all different and deal with things in our own individual ways, there are certain thing that most people who have experienced or witnessed trauma find useful:

When should I see a therapist? 

There’s no test to prove that you ‘need’ therapy. You can seek professional help at any time for any reason. Most people feel that they are getting back to ‘normal’ within a few weeks after the traumatic experience. 

If after a month or so you;

You might want to come and talk to us. Even if you just want to clear your head and talk through the traumatic experience with a mental health professional. If you have any questions or concerns about your mental health, reach out - we are here to help.